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Dave’s job

simon gray 2022-12-31, 07:17:40
Read this article aloud — 521 words

Here’s an image I’ve seen doing the rounds on Facebook, the implication of which readers are obviously supposed to go ‘yeah, too right, far too many pen pushers doing non-jobs, sack the lot of them’

Yeah, cos it’s funny to fire the HR Manager, until Dave has an accident at work and needs his compensation sorting out

It’s funny to fire the Marketing Manager, until Dave’s co-worker is also made redundant because orders have dried up

It’s funny to fire the Logistics Manager, until Dave turns up to do a job but can’t get on with it because somebody didn’t ensure his heavy machinery was there at the site ready for him

It’s funny to fire the Communication Manager, until Dave missed the meeting at which it was announced that everybody was getting an extra day off and turns up to work that day to an empty factory

It’s funny to fire the Security Manager, until one night yobboes break in to the yard and completely trash the place, and the company can’t function for two weeks until everything is replaced and repaired

It’s funny to fire the IT Manager, until Dave missed an essential Windows update on his work computer, and he ‘accidentally’ clicks on a porn link which downloads Wannacry which spreads across the entire company network and deletes the entire company database

It’s funny to fire the Project Manager, until Dave has to stop work for a week because a dependency on the job wasn’t scheduled to be completed on time

It’s funny to fire the Internal Supervisor, until Dave ends up doing more than his fair share of the work because his co-worker has been slacking and there’s been nobody to address that

It’s funny to fire the PR Manager, until there’s an accident involving a piece of work Dave did but there’s nobody to defend the company to the media to point out that the evidence shows Dave’s work had nothing to do with the accident

It’s funny to fire the Product Development Manager, until customers migrate to a rival company because they’ve been continuing to innovate, turning out better work for cheaper enabling them to employ more people

Maybe if Dave is so supremely talented that he can handle all of these roles as well as his own he should be grateful of the opportunity to be made redundant — he could form his own company with the payoff and be much more successful 

Tl;dr — this image, and the sentiment behind it, is bullshit 

Dave is digging a hole; a number of other people with various labelled job roles are stood around him. The main caption reads ‘due to cutbacks, we’re going to have to fire Dave’


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The code behind this site is a bit of an abandoned project; I originally had lofty ambitions of it being the start of a competitor for Twitter and Facebook, allowing other people to also use it turning it into a bit of a social network. Needless to say I got so far with it and thought who did I think I was! Bits of it don't work as well as I'd like it to work - at some point I'm going to return to it and do a complete rebuild according to modern standards.